Heretic

When my father passed a month ago, writing poetry became an avenue through which I processed my thoughts and feelings. I don't claim to be a good poet - I just try to write what's on my heart. And I've been thinking a lot about how Dad actually triggered my own deconstruction when he taught me that love was what was most important to God, because God is love (I John 4:8 and 16). So I've been ruminating on this one for a while.

Heretic 

Grandma was the kindest woman you could ever know
Welcoming and compassionate to everyone she met
She went to a church with a woman preacher
Did you know I once thought she might be a heretic?

Jesus said to love your neighbor as yourself
"Who is my neighbor?" "Let me tell you about a Samaritan"
A Samaritan was like someone from a whole other religion
Did you know he was sent to be crucified for being a heretic?

What if we missed the whole point?
The Church says you can't be "Christian" without Trinity
Some churches say you must have the right ideas about Bible and atonement
Jesus said "they will know you are my disciples if you love"

The Devil is always in someone else
Never in your own heart
And don't you ever think about how his name is "Accuser"
Or how the Holy Spirit's is "Advocate"

George MacDonald taught that God's love was limitless
He wrote "Phantastes" and C.S. Lewis converted because of it
MacDonald called eternal torment a "loathsome lie"
Did you know he lost his pulpit because he was a heretic?

Jesus said "I and the Father are one"
They picked up stones to kill him
He said "let them be one, Father, as you and I are one"
Did you know he was sent to be crucified for being a heretic?

Heretic is a word we use to shut down dialogue
When authority fails and reason is an obstacle
We condemn people for having the wrong ideas about Jesus
But Jesus made it a question - "who do you say that I am?"

The Devil is always in someone else
Never in your own heart
And don't you ever think about how his name is "Accuser"
Or how the Holy Spirit's is "Advocate"

The Devil is "Accuser"
Jesus is a heretic
Holy Spirit, "Advocate"
Jesus died a heretic

Echoes

 Well, I'm not a poet. But I felt like writing this:

Echoes

In the early morning light

I look for you

When I'm alone, I strain my ear

listening for your echoes

 

But ghosts are elusive

Like a mist

They blow away with the wind

Only seen in the peripherals

 

"You look like him", he said to me

On the day of your mourning

While I search the earth for your echo

He saw you when he looked at me

 

You came to me one night

One night only

You visited me in the haze of a dream

Just one last embrace was all I got

 

Maybe your echoes can't be found by looking

Like a shadow that disappears in the light

These reminders only come as a surprise

In an embrace or a song I hear in the distance

 

"Your voice sounds like his", she said to me

She heard your echo

While I searched for you in the fog

I reminded her of you when I spoke

 

I am your strongest echo

When I speak of love

Your warmth, your presence, felt

When I hug tightly

 

I can't find you by searching through the mist

Only by sharing my own presence

Your visage isn't perceived in a direct glance

Your echoes are only heard when I give what you gave me

 

A Good Life?

 Well, I'm not a poet, but I felt like writing this:

A Good Life?

Saturday morning, sitting in that pew
I watch - one by one they stand there
A daughter, a son, a choir member, a camp counselor
"He laughed, he made beautiful music, and he loved"

You were never famous, and you weren't rich
You didn't star in movies, or give your music to sold out crowds
You didn't live in a mansion, no one wore merchandise with your name on it
But you laughed, you made beautiful music, and you loved

When they mourn him, will a daughter dab her eyes with a tissue and say
"he took money from cancer research and gave big tax breaks to the rich"?
Will a son stand up and fight back his tears and say
"he refused to pay TSA so he could make it harder for women to vote"?

Will old high school buddies come up to that podium and choke out the words
"he deregulated companies so they could pollute the waters we drink"?
Will friends from decades ago stand there and weep as they say
"he condemned the pope while he bombed Iranian schoolgirls"?

I wonder what they'll say about me when I cross that rainbow bridge
I wonder who will come to that podium to speak about the life I led
I doubt I'll be famous, I doubt I'll be rich, but I would be proud if even one said
"He laughed, he brought beauty to the world, and he loved." 

Overcome

Well, I'm not a poet. But I felt like writing this.

Overcome 

I look at the world and I'm overcome by the cruelty
The people justifying hate for their brothers and sisters
I look at the world and I'm overcome by the greed
The people hoarding wealth they could never spend
While their bothers and sisters starve

And then it's time to take the dogs outside
Domino is overcome with anticipation
He leaps at the door, straining to get to the ball I keep on the shelf
I throw it across the yard and he sprints, lightning speed, to catch it
His tail wags with joy as he brings it to me, but he won't let me take it
I tug as he clutches it in his mouth, his tail is wagging with sheer joy the whole time

I look at the world and I'm overcome with fear
The orange man threatens genocide, and people use the word "nuclear"
I look at the world and I'm overcome with sadness
My father rests in dust and ashes, his light is snuffed
And the world is a little bit darker with him gone

And then it's time to take the dogs outside
Domino is overcome by the suspense
He yelps with urgency, begging me to open the door faster
I throw the ball again and watch him leap to catch it
And I laugh as I watch his butt wiggling, his tail wagging with intensity
In the presence of his joy, anxiety and pain fade away, replaced with laughter