A Father Learning to Love: Taking a Stand

Today, I am taking a stand. Some of you will not understand why I am doing this, and some of you will strongly disagree with me. I hope that if this is you, you will seek answers. As Jesus said: "ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." I hope that those of you who don't understand why I'm taking this stand will ask me why I have done so, and what convicted me to do so. Please understand that this is something that I am not doing lightly - it is a subject that I have experienced a complete reversal on my opinion, and it did not come easily. It came after much thought and prayer and careful examination. It started with compassion, and this is why I have previously not openly taken this stand: I know for some of you, it must start with compassion. Until you have experienced this, you can't see past the system of beliefs you have held. I know this because this was me. But please understand further that after I experienced this compassion, it didn't end there. I didn't throw out the Bible verses that you'll quote to me - I sought answers. I used logic and reasoning. I searched for historical perspective and details on translation from the original language. I am not throwing out the Bible verses I know you might quote for me - I haven't crossed them out of my Bible. I am familiar with them all and I am keeping them them all - but I think there is a different message than the one you have taken away from them. Even after I came to this conclusion, I did not want to defend it. I had talked to some people about leadership opportunities at my church, and I was afraid that if I defended this position, these opportunities might be withdrawn from me. I thought to myself that maybe it would be better to be quiet about this conviction I held and gently call others towards love, and maybe they'd arrive at the conclusion themselves. Maybe it would be better for me to be a "secret agent" among the ranks of those defending the old systems of belief. But this did not sit well with my conscience. I wrestled with the ethics of this decision all week long, and finally God spoke to me. You're going to laugh, I'm sure, but that's ok: God spoke to me through the lyrics of a Progressive Metal song today. Don't believe me? You don't think God can do that? God speaks through prophets, and He speaks through the lillies of the field, and the sparrow, and even through our enemies - why can't He speak through the lyrics of a Progressive Metal song? It's funny, too, because this is a favorite band of mine, and I've heard this song many times before. Lately, I feel like I am hearing things I've heard many times before for the first time, and seeing things I've looked at many times before for the first time. The song is called Fields of Sorrow by Darkwater:

I fear, that I am losing it all

I hear, there's nothing I can do

On this, path where I've been so long

I seek, for now my soul is torn

An ever waking mind claims their might

And every day for them is a wait for night

(I've seen them) they dwell within the shadows

Outcast by our kind

I've seen them run in fields of sorrow

The forsaken ones

I feel, that I am losing it all

I bleed, for things that I can't control

I've tried, to leave all my fears behind

I am joining the forsaken ones

An ever waking mind claims their might

And every day for them is a wait for night

(I've seen them) they dwell within the shadows

Outcast by our kind

I've seen them run in fields of sorrow

The forsaken ones

In despair they fight for their lives

All because of our sacred delusion

Blinded, I stared at the sun for too long

I cry, how could I ever come clean

I breathe, the poison that's spread everywhere

I know, I don't want to play this scene

An ever waking mind claims their might

And every day for them is a wait for night

(I've seen them) they dwell within the shadows

Outcast by our kind

I've seen them run in fields of sorrow

The forsaken ones

So after wrestling with this all this time, and wondering whether I should take this stand or remain silent, I knew I was hearing an answer in the form of this song. I knew I must join the forsaken ones. To do otherwise would go against my convictions, and they have torn at my conscience for far too long. For those who disagree with me - I hope you will ask, seek, and knock, and above all: love. For those who have taken this stand openly long ago, I'm sorry it took so long for me to join you openly. So here I stand, but I have to do it my way. What can I say - I'm a bit of a rebel...and a little bit of a heretic too...you know who else was a bit of a rebel and a heretic? Jesus was. Don't believe me? Ask! ;-) And so I take my stand: